Call me Maggie.

It's been quite a long time since I have been able to blog, but what a blessing that I have found some time to write. For a while now, I've been trying to find a life lesson or some witty way to convey my life experiences over the last few days. Nothing has really stuck out...then I realized that there hasn't been any dramatic life lesson over the past few months. Life has been peaceful, beautiful, and lovely. In other words, I'm content.

This contentment has created an environment of self-reflection. I have blogged many times about the journey I have been on over the last couple of years. These years have been marked by trials, failings, a few triumphs, struggles, and just a general atmosphere of chaos. But in the midst all the chaos, I have had a beautiful, unxpected love story develop. Christ has very patiently and quietly beckoned me to him in those sparse moments of quiet. At first, it was soft, but lately He's been shouting through a mega-phone.

As many of you know, Song of Songs is my absolute favorite book of the Bible. I love every part of it: the romancing, the courtship, the wooing, the marriage, the journey. We are able to witness a romance that is absolutely breath-taking. Although this is amazing, the most beautiful part of the book ies in the fact that Song of Songs is God's love proposal to us. In these mystical writings, God sweeps us off our feets with a divine marriage proposal. He is asking us, all of us, to be his beautiful brides. Christ is down on one knee with the perfect proposal.

"You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride;

you have ravished my heart with one glance of your

eyes. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride."

After my whole-hearted yes to Christ my senior year, I ran away. I left my groom standing at the altar. In a way, I was much like Julia Roberts from Runaway Bride. In this movie, she plays a women that goes to the altar many times, but always runs away at the last minute. She was romanced, wooed, and swept off her feet. Yet, something just wasn't right, she got cold feet everytime. Call me Maggie, but I have experienced those same cold feet in my courtship with Christ. These cold feet have made me do some pretty stupid stuff. Christ has watched me chase men that wouldn't satisfy me, he watched me look for answers in things that almost always hurt me, and he watched as I ran away from him. He was always there quietly, patiently waiting to take my hand and lead me to the altar.

"I wanted to tell you why I run - sometimes ride - away from things.

When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn't have

any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had

done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I

didn't go through with it because it would have been a lie. But you - you knew the real me.

I didn't. And you being the one at the end of the aisle didn't just fix that."

--Maggie Carpenter

I kept running though. As soon as I got even close to a good relationship with Christ, I completely freaked out. Much like Julia, I was so caught up in what people said was a good relationship that I lost my focus. In the movie, she was extremely focused on what society said a good wedding should be like. Once she is open and honest with her groom is she able to find the courage to walk down the aisle. My relationship with Christ has been much like this. I get so caught up in comparing my relationship with my Love to the relationships my friends have with Christ. Almost every time I do this, I feel inadequate about my relationship with Christ. Then I watched Runaway Bride. I realized that there are many different ways to plan a marriage, much like there are many types of relationships with Christ.

Realizing this has been such a blessing, because I am more Christ-focused. I communicate my desires with Him so much more clearly than before. But honestly, this relationship has been really hard to develop, because my trust in men has really taken a beating over the past 2 years. Christ has had to work some serious over-time to show me that He is the only man that will never let me down or hurt me. Yet, I still leave my groom stranded at the altar. I run away from Him alot, and being the amazing man he is, he runs after me. My relationship with Christ this semester has taken on a whole new meaning. He is constantly chasing me, calling me back to Him, much like Maggie's groom does for her. He finds new and beautiful ways to sweep me off my feet, romance me, and propose. No matter how many times I leave Him at that altar, He will never abandon me, His bride.

"You are all-beautiful my beloved,

and there is NO blemish in you."

-Christ, my bridegroom

So just call me Maggie Carpenter, because I am a runaway bride.