This past week I had the blessing of attending the Kansas Catholic College Student Convention in Topeka, KS. It was a very good weekend. It was quiet and sweet, simple and relaxing. God used this weekend to gently, but forcefully, remind of some things that I have been forgetting, like what it means to follow Christ. He called me to Him in such a loving, tender manner that I couldn’t help but listen.
One night during adoration, I found some notes in my Bible from a talk I had with a good friend. At the time, I was really struggling with my sins and how they had transformed me. I felt like my sins were taking over, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
One of my biggest struggles is that I tend to focus on my sins. And you know the saying, “We become what we think about.” So instead of getting better, the situation was just getting worse. A lot worse. It was to the point where I didn’t really recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. Who was I? I was being defined by my actions in a very negatively way.
But in God’s mercy, my friend directed me to C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce. Particularly the story of the lizard. I feel like this is an important story, so I’m going to put the link. I had printed this out and put it in my Bible. It’s a long story, but I would love for you to read it. Plus, the rest of my blog probably won't make sense it you don't.
After I read this parable of the lizard though, I realized that God can take the darkest, scariest, and most sinful parts of us and turn them into something that will glorify Him. C.S. Lewis uses lust, but it could be any sin. Anything that comes between you and your Love. How awesome is that? Our all-powerful God is so merciful that He created a way for me to glorify Him, despite my imperfect humanity. Only God could do this. How beautiful!
One good point in the story is that we need to let go and let God do His thing. Giving up control and dying to your will is hard. Denying your passions and temptations that lead to sin is even harder. Trust me, I know. I struggle with this on a day-to-day basis. But if we let go and let God kill these unholy passions, He will turn these passions into a way to glorify Him. In the story, C.S. Lewis discusses the journey to the mountains, the journey to Heaven. He says that in order to reach the mountain, we must undergo a spiritual death. We must die to ourselves, but the beauty of the mountain will be worth it.
Another point in the story would be our free will. You have power and control over your sins. That's why the angels ask the man. It's up to him. There’s a line from a song that says, “To say that he devil made me do it, is a cop and a lie. The devil can’t make me do anything, when I’m calling on the name of Jesus Christ.” So call on God! Call on your Love when you’re being tempted. He will save you! If you're in a position where you have to make a choice and you don't trust yourself to make the right choice, God will do it for you. Don't hesistate to ask for help. He wants you to!
Another point in the story would be our free will. You have power and control over your sins. That's why the angels ask the man. It's up to him. There’s a line from a song that says, “To say that he devil made me do it, is a cop and a lie. The devil can’t make me do anything, when I’m calling on the name of Jesus Christ.” So call on God! Call on your Love when you’re being tempted. He will save you! If you're in a position where you have to make a choice and you don't trust yourself to make the right choice, God will do it for you. Don't hesistate to ask for help. He wants you to!
This all hit me again during adoration. Talk about an amazing experience.
When I got home, I was trying to find a good quote to sum up how my weekend went. Nothing was fitting. I googled: saint quotes, JP II quotes, Mother Teresa quotes, Church Father quotes, Catholic songs, etc. None of it quite expressed how I was feeling. So I just gave up. Nothing fit. I switched to Stumbleupon.com because it’s awesome. I literally stumbled upon this quote:
The very things that held ya down are gonna carry ya up, and up, and up!
How fitting. Once again, God used Disney movies to hammer in His point. The things that cause me to sin, are going to be the things that glorify God. If I give them over to Him. So God can take my sins, my lizards, and turn them into something that will carry me to the mountain, to the Kingdom of God. Just like Dumbo’s ears carried him. God's calling us to the mountain, will you come?
“Will you come with me to the mountains? It will hurt at
first, until your feet are hardened. Reality is harsh to the
feet of shadows. But will you come?” – C.S. Lewis
