Mama

This past year has been an interesting journey. It has worn me down spiritually, mentally, and physically. It has been a very rough semester. Thus, spring break was welcomed as a beautiful oasis in the midst of a desert. It came at just the right time. My first day back in Wichita I had to work a 7 hour shift at Hallmark. Honestly, I was a bit upset that I had to waste a beautiful spring day in Hallmark. Of course, God turned this around and the day had some pleasant surprises. The first being a 75-year-old woman named Monika, who had moved here from Germany when she was 15. We were really slow so I got a chance to talk to her for about 30 minutes. During this talk, we discussed motherhood and the role of the woman in the family for about 20 minutes. She told me, “Women have the blessing of watching their children grow into strong apostles. There is nothing sweeter than seeing your child seek Christ.”  Wow! In the middle of Hallmark, a woman gave me insight into the beauty of motherhood. Jesus moment for sure.

After this wonderful conversation, I got assigned to cleaning. I was dusting away in the backroom when I saw a sign that said, “Home is where your mom is.” Here in a dirty, quiet room, God sent surprise two by gently enforcing the beauty of motherhood. I love my family, but my mother is always the person I miss the most. I miss her so much sometimes, I literally ache with it. She is my rock, my role-model, my comforter, my best friend, my hero.We might not always see eye-to-eye on things and we fight frequently, but that's usually because I am too stubborn to accept her wisdom. She selflessly gives up everything for the sake of her children. My mother taught me the meaning of sacrifice. For me, home is where ever she is. Home is where you find rest, comfort, passion, growth, and love. Home is more than just a place you live; home is where your heart is. For me, my mama is all of those things. She constantly challenges me to grow and seek Christ. She is my link to Heaven.

This past week, I had the blessing of spending 4 days in Atlanta with my Grandma, aunts, uncles, and sister. One night, my Uncle Chris and I had the most random, sporadic conversation I have ever had. We had months of experiences, ideas, and revelations to catch up on. We happened to get on the topic of good books. I suggested that he read Heaven’s Song by Christopher West. He had never heard of it and asked me to justify my suggestion. I found myself submersed in one of the most beautiful Marian conversations I have ever had. For those of you who haven’t read the book, Heaven’s Song discusses Song of Songs and how they are God’s love letters to us. God is calling us to a mystical marriage with Him, Song of Songs is His proposal. This love and marriage is so real, that a young Jewish girl literally became impregnated with His divine word. Through Christ, Mary became our spiritual mother. The more I talked, the more I found myself absolutely gushing about Mama Mary, the way I do about my mom.

After the conversation, I was pretty keyed up and decided to spend some time on the deck outside. The quiet of the night helped me to gather my thoughts. I was reflecting on the past week and the quiet moment in the backroom of Hallmark came back to me. “Home is where your mom is.” Heaven is home. Mama Mary is waiting for me, for us. Mama embraced us as her children at the foot of the cross. How blessed are we to have such an amazing spiritual mother waiting for us in Heaven! She keeps us in her heart at all times, praying for us constantly. For Mary the most beautiful thing in the world is watching us seek Christ.

This past year has been filled with constant struggles and opportunities for growth. To my shame, I haven’t embraced many of these opportunities. Instead of seeing opportunities, I saw suffering. My mindset was selfish. This has caused my relationship with Mary to take on a different role. In my stubbornness, I nailed myself to my own cross. Mary waited at the foot of my cross, watching my suffering. She waited for me to die to myself. When I finally did, she took me into her arms at the foot of the cross and gently held me. I’ve found myself frantically running to Mary when life gets hard and just throwing myself into her arms. She welcomes me lovingly, gently, and selflessly. No matter how many times I turn away, Mary is always there quietly leading me to Christ. Mary is my other link to Heaven.

I work at 6:00 in the morning on Tuesdays, not my favorite shift. I was writing this though during my shift and I have a Disney playlist that I listen to. The song You'll Be in My Heart came on. I was overcome with emotion when I realized how perfectly it describes a mother's love for her children, Mary's love for us. I suggest listening to it: You'll Be In My Heart .

For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can't be broken.
I will be here, don't you cry.
You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say.
You'll be here in my heart, always.

How beautiful is a mother's love? Whether she is alive, deceased, or spiritual, she is waiting for you to come home keeping you in her heart always. Mary, mother of us all, pray for us!