Who do you say that I am?

Hello! I decided to go with a Disney theme for a while, because it's something we can all relate to. So here it goes!

After a particularly stressful day a few weeks ago, I decided to watch The Lion King (TLK). I have always loved TLK. I can remember watching it over and over again as a child. Well...I still do this, but TLK was a significant part of my childhood. It's the movie I ran to for comfort when my dad died, it's the movie I watch every time I go home, and it's the movie that I can quote word for word. My nickname is Simba and I can relate to him on so many different levels, even if he is a cartoon. There's alot of comfort for me in TLK. So for me, it's my go-to movie when I have a bad day.
 While watching the movie, I was also reading Confessions by St. Augustine, because I have to read it for my philosophy class. I started thinking about Augustine's journey of self-discovery and how he found himself when he found God.

This made me think about a homily I heard the Sunday before that discussed the person Christ is calling us to be. This homily has been on my mind alot, because I feel like we all struggle with this at one point. The priest discuss how America puts a lot of emphasis on discovering who we are and what defines us. We all get caught up in it some point and I am especially guilty of this. Getting caught up in the self-discovery phase has been my biggest struggle this past semester. I turned towards secular discovery and forgot about the spiritual. I was thinking about where I am at now in my faith life, and where I want to be. I realized that I am nowhere near where I want to be. I got lost on the one way somehow.

 Well, God definitely has a sense of humor and loves to bring me back to Him through it.

I had just gotten to the point where Simba is frantically running after Rafiki in the forest, because Rafiki promised Simba that he could see his father again. Simba gets caught up in the vines as he goes, which hold him back. Suddenly he bursts out by a pond, where Rafiki beckons him forward.

Here's the dialogue from the movie: 
Rafiki: Look down there.

Simba: That's not my father. That's just my reflection.

Rafiki: No, look harder. 

Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.

Mufasa's ghost: Simba.
Simba: Father?

Mufasa's ghost: Simba, you have forgotten me.

Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa's Ghost: You have forgotten who you are

and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba.

Wow. Talk about hitting me over the head with a spiritual 2x4. God used my favorite movie, a children's movie to hit home a point that I've been fighting for a long time: my identity is in Jesus Christ. Just like Simba, I forgot who I was, and thus I forgot my Father. I had gotten so caught up in the secular world, that I forgot that Christ has already give me my identity. He created me in His image and likeness. There's nobody else like me in the world. Everything I need to know about myself is in Christ.

Why am I searching then if I already have an identity? I'm searching, as the whole world is searching, because it goes the other way too. When you forget your Father, you forget who you are. You lose yourself, when you lose your Creator.  Our world has cultivated this and egged it on in a way. The world tells you that YOU need to discover who you are and what defines you. Christ tells you that His love defines you and that the cross shows you who you are. You're God's child, His own beautiful creation. You are first and foremost a child of God and He claimed you at the cross. That is who you are.  When we realize this, we die to ourselves and become Christ's.

"Yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as
 I now live in the flesh,I live by the faith in the Song of God
who has loved me and given himself up for me." 

 So it looks like I have alot in common with Simba, which strikes me as funny. Up here at K-State Simba is my nickname, because of my hair. But boy can I relate to him. Not only did I lose my biological father, but I lost my Heavenly one too. I forgot about him, and thus forgot who I was. I ran away from my spiritual family and I tried to live in a constant state of hakuna matata. I figured if I just kept telling myself no worries, then I would eventually believe it. Like Simba, I got caught up on my way to Him and took a wrong turn. But eventually, I broke through the vines, the restraints, and saw my reflection. I didn't see Him at first, but I just had to look a little harder. Then, I realized Christ lives in me. He is my identity.

I love how God uses the most simple things in my life to bring me back to Him.

She can fly!

Usually in the first post, you tell a bit about yourself and why you started blogging, but I don't really want to do that. You'll learn a few tidbits about me through my blogs. :] So here it goes...


A few days ago, I got to chase my childhood by watching Peter Pan. I love Disney movies and to my joy we have a Disney section at Hallmark. One of our coffee mugs says, "All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust."  This mug gave me an intense urge to watch Peter Pan, which isn't one of my favorite Disney movies. It's never really appealed to me, but on that Sunday afternoon, I gave in and watched it.
At first, I just sat there eating popcorn and letting my brain relax.

But after awhile I realized how much I can relate to Peter Pan. Growing up is scary, and we've all run from it at times. I've avoided it, and even run in the opposite direction. Change is happening so fast around me that it's hard to find some secure footing. College is flying by, friends are getting married, others are having children, my nieces are growing up very fast, and I'm almost out of my teens. These changes are making me explore unknown territory and it's frightening. I've been trying to live in my own Neverland of endless youth. But it isn't very satisfying.

Change is scary! Facing the unknown terrifies me, because I no longer have control. But I think Peter nailed it on the head. Faith and trust are all it takes. Oh and a bit of pixie dust, but I don't know where I can get some of that. So I'll stick to faith and trust. Although these are still pretty hard for me. There's a reason why they are virtues: they come from God. I learned that they hard way. I was scared of growing up, because I didn't have any faith and I definitely wasn't trusting God.

"Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future.
     It's  simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step."   -Joni Erickson Tada"

How do you just hand over control though? How do you just start trusting somebody else with your life? I've struggled with the how for a long time and I'm learning that giving over control is a gradual process. It isn't going to happen over night. It happens by building a relationship with God through prayer. You're not going to give control of your life to a stranger, but you will trust somebody that you have a deep relationship with. In psychology my senior year, we had to do a faith test. We were blindfolded while our partners led us around the school. God's the same way. We don't know his plan or where He's taking us, but through trust we allow Him to lead us into the unknown.

As my trust in God has grown, so have my prayers. I started asking God for these virtues instead of trying to achieve them on my own. Ask and you shall receive.  Instead of just rushing into the unknown, I let God take my hand and lead me. What a blessing! God rained down his grace, or pixie dust if you must, on me and life gradually became a beautiful adventure for me. The good kind now, not the scary kind. God took my hand, just as Peter took Wendy's and before I knew it, I was flying.

I used to wish I could head to the second start to the right and straight on till morning and just avoid growing up and changing. The future is scary if we try to face it alone. But I'm realizing that to live is an awfully big adventure, especially when God is in control. So with faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust, I believe I can fly. Will you join me? :]  

God is good.

"With God, all things are possible."